I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
