I looked at my own cervix.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
