The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize