I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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