I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Hippo gnu deer
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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