everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
