Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
