I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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