Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
