I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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