Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Terrible idea I love it
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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