there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
