Ambien. No doubt about it.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
