Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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