I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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