I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
