The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
