ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
