NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
