In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
