Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
