My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i came on her dog
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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