We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
