I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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