Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
