Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
