dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
