everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
