yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
