I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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