She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize