dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My dick has a subreddit
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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