Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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