We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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