she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
