I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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