You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
