God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize