He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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