I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
