Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
