I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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