two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's shark week go big or go home
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
