so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
