i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
