If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
