You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
