He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
