kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
high people should be assigned attendants
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Enjoy the penises
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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