need another drink. this is the easiest way
Buhtt sex?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
