lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
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