she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
