True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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