As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Damn victory sex feels great
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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