Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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