she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
