Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
im six kinds of drunk right now
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
