My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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