He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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