Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
