so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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