My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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