you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
