There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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