so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
