Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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