i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Randomize
