From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
