Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
