spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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