He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
and i looked up. we had an audience...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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