just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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