I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
